Second thoughts

So i ve been thinking a lot.. what is the reason for all of these.. people call me that i am pleasure oriented, arent they? their pleasure just might be different! why do they look at me like that? My ex boyfriend’s friends told me i am materialistic.. am i? just because i like to spend money? or because they prefer to save their money.. i pay for good stuff.. they were made by efforts, they are designer stuff, why shouldn’t i buy a piece of art?
I feel very lonely that is why i started this blog, hope to find some people who are interested in real me.. tonight my friends invited to play tennis with them, but how can i go there when they cant see my boobs from my top? A friend told me the other day please talk less sexy and more polite because we as married people get offended! fuck! they dont like me no one pushes them to be my friends! My new lover, has gone to Paris, i hope he brings good souvenirs for me 🙂 this time i should be able to not have feelings for him!! I am a Pro.. come on! men are the easiest manipulative creatures for me, but why when my feelings get involved everything is ruined? I really cant find any answer for all these questions.
Did i tell you i live in a host country in far far north? Did i tell you anything about myself at all? that English is not my first language either.. pardon me if you find mistakes in it! I may blog scattered and not comprehensive, but that’s how i am in real life. this is my first time blogging, it feels good, but i am a lazy ass, and not made for writing, but i m doing my best this time!